


I Am Damaged, Far Too Damaged

by Yaoi_helps_me



Series: Damaged [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, Demons, Evil Albus Dumbledore, Harry just needs Severus to hurt him to calm down, It's not really BDSM, Light BDSM, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Pedophilia, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self Harm, Soulmates, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 12:08:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22969777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaoi_helps_me/pseuds/Yaoi_helps_me
Summary: No summary. Just read. Please be aware of the warnings and tags. I’m open to constructive criticism!
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Fred Weasley/George Weasley, Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy/Original Male Character(s), Past Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Malfoy - Relationship, Past Lucius Malfoy/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Tom Riddle/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Damaged [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650730
Comments: 6
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

Voldemort paced around his room in Malfoy Manor, his mind running a million thoughts a minute. The vision he had just had not only troubled him deeply but angered him as well. It had been years since he’d had a vision and none of them have ever been from someone else’s eyes, but this one was and it had be horrible. When the vision started he automatically could tell the person needed glasses, badly. He could only make out shapes and colors. He could smell muggle cologne and saw a fat muggle man, that really only looked like a huge blob. The Dark Lord was confused for a moment before he felt it

He felt someone enter him and it was absolutely agonizing, he knew that this boy had received no prep and no lube. He heard the young man scream and cry, this boy could be no older than sixteen or seventeen. The voice sounded so familiar but he couldn’t place it. Whoever it was was suffering, and to the hand of a filthy _muggle._ Ever since Voldemort had take a potion to reform his human self he had been experiencing twinges of human emotion every now and then, but after the vision he was filled with emotion.

Sadness, anger, and sympathy all flowed through him as he paced, eventually he collapsed on the bed, head in his hands. For the first time in many, many years, tears streamed down his cheeks, the pain was so intense and he could still feel it. At that moment he swore to himself that he would find this boy, no matter who it was, and save him from that filthy muggle.

~~~~

Harry laid curled up on his dirty bed, his eyes closed. He was still trembling from the event about an hour before. _What a wonderful way to spend my seventeenth._ He thought to himself, a soft sigh escaping his lips. There was a soft tapping on his window and he smiled softly, knowing exactly who it was, he slowly sat up and slipped on his boxers before standing up and limping to the window, opening it to greet Draco’s eagle owl, Lucifer. Harry smiled and gently pet his feathers “Hey Luci...” he said softly, taking the letter from his talons before opening Hedwigs cage to let her interact with the bigger owl

Harry walked back to his bed and sat back down, opening the letter.

Dearest Bolt,

Happy Birthday! I hope you’re doing okay, I really miss you. You haven’t written back to my last letter and I’m beginning to get sort of worried. Are you mad at me? I hope not. Anyway, you’re officially seventeen! Which means you have full access to magic! Maybe you’d like to come over to this manor tomorrow? I already asked my father and he said it’s fine. We’ll have to stay in my room. I’ll tell you why when we get here. My father never lets anyone come over except Blaise. I’ve asked on multiple occasions if the twins came come but the answer is always no. I miss them... And Blaise is beginning to irritate me. He’s quite annoying at times. How has the summer been without Mudblood and Weasel? Hard? I hope I make up for that by being your best friend. I still am your best friend right? Oh Merlin, I sound like a bloody Hufflepuff. Please write me back Bolt, I am truly loosing my mind. I’ll leave you alone now because I know I sound clingy. I love you (Platonically, of course) and see you soon.

Sincerely, 

Dragon

Harry laughed quietly and took out an old notebook and pen. He didn’t have parchment or a quill, sadly. It was all locked away, but this would work he supposed.

My Dragon,

You truly are a fool, Dragon. How could you ever think I was ignoring you on purpose? I’ve been over worked, dummy. More than usual, at least. Of course I’ll come. I’ll have to sneak out tomorrow but it sounds like fun. I’m glad your dad seems to like me, at least decently. As long as he doesn’t turn me in to Voldemort I’m fine with him too. I’m sorry about Blaise, I never really liked him all too much but I never really met him so I can’t speak on it. I know for a fact that the twins miss you too. But their dad is the same as yours. Too into the feud. I think they’re both idiots for carrying it on this long, but I’m so proud of you for ending the feud. I wonder if your kids with be blonde or red heads. Maybe you’ll have both. It’s okay to sound like a Hufflepuff sometimes. I like your inner Hufflepuff. It’s really adorable. Like a puppy trying to scare an older dog, but even cuter. Thank you for wishing me happy birthday, you’re actually the first to. And about the old friends thing, I’m not really missing them. They were the most annoying people in the Wizarding world(Sometimes). Though I would prefer if you didn’t call her a Mudblood. That shouldn’t be why you don’t like her. There are plenty of other reasons not too. The other really is a Weasel though. But you must remember that you’re dating his brothers. And they’re not that bad, now are they? Anyway, I love you too Dragon. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it

Sincerely, 

Bolt

Once he finished with his letter, Harry folded it up and gave it to Lucifer who was nuzzling against Hedwig. He gently kissed the male owls head and smiled softly “Make sure Draco doesn’t act a fool. I would hate for him to get in trouble.” He said before sending the bird off. Hedwig narrowed her big eyes at Harry, her expression clearly saying ‘Why did you make him leave so fast?’. Harry laughed at his own imagination “Draco wanted me to write back quickly. I’m sorry.” He said softly before laying back down on the bed and curling back up, his eyes fluttering shut _I’m seeing Draco tomorrow. And it will be fun. I need to try to relax until then and heal my skin in the morning. There’s no need to get him angry for no reason._ He thought to himself as he slowly drifted into oblivion


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the positive feedback. I really appreciate it. Tell me if there are any mistakes made and I'll fix them as soon as possible!

Harry awoke to a soft giggle from the corner of his room and immediately tensed "Shut the hell up, Novis. He's awake now because of your stupidity." A deep male voice growled, the voice just giggled again "Well he has to see us anyway." the voice cooed, also a male voice, but it was very child like. Harry discreetly reached under his pillow for his want and gripped the handle when he found it. He turned to face the corner and sat up, pointing his wand at his intruders. The light flicked off and he grabbed his glasses, there stood three men, one of them was over six foot, the others were both below.

The tallest had blood red hair and lilac purple irises, his pupils were slitted and the whites of his eyes were black. He wore a midnight purple sweatshirt and black jeans. He wore no shoes. He looked lean even through his baggy sweater, Harry could tell he was decently muscular. He was scowling and looked pretty irritated, which made Harry tense up even more. The man, or whatever he was, rolled his eyes at Harry. That earned him a elbow in the stomach from the second tallest male, making the taller one let out a soft 'oof' sound.

The second tallest had pastel blue hair and baby pink eyes, but his pupils were quite strange, one was a star the other was an exclamation point. He wore a light yellow hoodie and ripped skinny jeans, he had his hands in his hoodie pockets. He also wore no shoes. He didnt look very big but he had a big grin on his face and blush on his pale cheeks. That was definitely the one that giggles. He looked like the very embodiment of a child, at least his face did.

The third was the exact opposite of a child. He had pastel green hair and pink irises that reminded Harry eerily of Madam Hooch and his pupils were hearts. He wore a white crop top and black leggings. His hips, thighs, and bum were a pretty good size considering how thin his waist was. He was very beautiful to Harry, but if he was being honest with himself, he was definitely too much of a bottom to be with the male, who was very obviously also a bottom.

Harry glared at the three and gripped his wand tighter, his nails digging into his palm. "Who the bloody hell are you?" he growled. The tallest looked startled for a moment before smiling brightly, showing off his pointed canines "He definitely is our prince. He's got a temper." he mused, causing the shortest to smile slightly "He's got a pretty nice ass too." he purred softly. Harry blushed slightly, then sneered, Draco had taught him well. "I'm not a prince, and stop staring at my ass before I hex you. You're obviously not muggles, or wizards, so what are you?" he asked.

"We're the same as you, silly." The middle one said happily. Harry arched a brow "You're a wizard?" he asked dumbly, the tallest rolled his eyes. "You're pretty dense, young one. We're demons." he said staring directly at Harry, making him slightly uncomfortable "I'm not a demon..." he muttered. The shortest one eyed Harry up and down "What's with all the bruises?" he asked softly. Harry glared at him "None of your bloody business. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm not listening to your bullshit. I have places to be." he said grabbing his jeans and an old Hogwarts sweatshirt that was still quite a few sizes too big. He always bought his clothes too big.

The shortest one grabbed his arm gently, "I'm Amare. The one with the red hair is Bellator and the other one is Novis. They're my brothers. Please let us explain this to you." he said softly, Harry yanked his arm away and glared "I'll be back later. Whatever you have to say isn't as important as Draco. You're all mental." he said quietly as he got dressed "Is Draco you're boyfriend?" Amare asked, tilting his head. Harry laughed, like really laughed, for the first time in a while "No, no, no. He's very much taken. And he's much too rich for me." he said in between laughs. Amare arched a brow "Money is a problem?" he asked, Harry shook his head "No, I just don't imagine myself with a man who expects me to play house wife. And that's what most rich guys expect." he explained "Anyway, I really must be going. I want to surprise him. He's probably not even up yet." he said softly before waving his wand in front of himself and muttering a quiet spell to tell the time. He smiled softly "Only half passed five. This will certainly surprise him." he whispered. He waved at the demons, who looked extremely confused, then closed his eyes and thought of Draco. 

When he opened his eyes he was standing in front of a huge bed where Draco was curled around his pillow with only his silk boxers, the covers strewn about. Harry smiled and crawled onto the bed, hovering over Draco for a moment "Wake up, sleepy head!" he yelled in Draco's ear. Draco yelped and pushed him off, giving himself a moment for his eyes to adjust before glaring a Harry "What the hell was that for?" he growled, Harry simply smiled and hugged Draco tightly "I missed you." he said softly. Draco smiled softly and wrapped his arms around his friend "I missed you too." he replied, kissing his forehead in a brotherly fashion. "But if you ever do that again I'll hex you into next year." he cooed, pulling away. Harry narrowed his eyes at the blonde "Liar." he muttered. Draco smirked "Whatever you want to think, Potter." he said crossing his arms smugly. 

Harry laughed and got off of him "So. What do you wanna do?" he asked "Well first of all, you look like you haven't eaten in days. So we're having a feast." Draco said with a smile. Harry arched a brow "A feast in your bedroom?" he asked, Draco nodded "Yep. My father might kill me but I don't really care." he said happily "Dali!" he demanded. A tiny house elf popped in front of the bed and looked at them "Yes master Draco?" she squeaked "Get us breakfast from downstairs. Be sure to bring us a lot. And tell father that Harry is here, unless he's... You know..." Draco said and the house elf nodded quickly, popping out of the room. 

Harry stared at his blonde friend for a moment "Unless he's what?" he asked. Draco paled slightly "That's why we need to stay in the room, my father, he..." he started before pausing as the door opened to reveal Tom, his red eyes glinting slightly as Harry tensed, looking back at Draco. "You fucker..." he growled, drawing his wand and pointing it at Tom "You turned me in? I trusted you!" he spat. Dracos eyes widened "No, Harry please listen! He won't-!" he tried as Harry scrambled off the bed and glaring at both of them "No! Fuck you, Malfoy! I trusted you! I let you in! But you're just like everyone else! You're selfish and cruel!" he yelled as Tom took his own wand out.

"Mister Potter I suggest you put your wand down. You should know by now that the prophecy was false. I don't like any magical blood spilled. Young Draco didn't do-" Tom had started but Harry cut him off just as he did Draco "Fuck you! If you aren't going to kill me then why the fuck are you here? You know what? You probably should bloody kill me, there's nothing else for me here. All the friends I thought I had all betray me and hurt me! Vernon will probably kill me anyway! So just do it. Kill your sworn enemy." Harry spat, baring the fangs that he didn't know he had.

Draco felt tears welling up in his silver eyes "Harry I swear I didn't..." he whimpered, Harry turned his wand to Draco "No! You don't have the right to cry! Every thing you've ever wanted is laid at your feet while I'm stuck with filthy muggles who treat me like the scum of the earth! I'm not doing this. I'm really not." he cried as tears of his own began dripping down his cheeks as he lowered his wand and closed his eyes, imagining his bed. He disappeared with a pop.

Draco brought his knees to his chest and sobbed quietly into them "Draco, I'll write him a letter. He must not of been made aware of cease fire. Which is not exactly surprising considering he listens to whatever the old man says. You'll get your Harry back. I swear it." Tom said before turning and making a dramatic exit. Draco just continued to sob, he already missed his best friend. They hadn't seen eachother in months. This had been their chance. And the Dark lord had ruined it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This and many other chapters will include suicidal thoughts, child abuse, self harm, and rape. If you are triggered by any of those things then this series is not for you.

As soon as Harry got back to his room he collapsed onto his bed, throwing his glasses against a wall, just missing Novis. Bellator narrowed his eyes at Harry "The fuck is wrong with you?" he growled, Novis elbowed him in the stomach just as he had done less than an hour ago. Bellator scowled "Will you stop that?" he growled. Amare rolled his eyes and sat beside Harry who had curled in on himself and had begun crying. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly "All of you need to get the fuck out of my room." Harry growled. 

"But-" "Get the fuck  _ out _ !" Harry quickly interupted and immediately regretted it when he heard Veron stir.  _ Fuck. _ "Please just leave and come back later, you'll get me in trouble." he whimpered. Amare sighed "Fine. We'll be back later. If that human hurts you we will kill him. Just to make that clear." he said standing up, Harry quickly turned to face them " _ No. _ Dumbledore will  _ kill  _ me. Please don't hurt anyone." he begged. Bellator frowned "You're a demon prince. No human can kill you." he said softly. "I'm not a bloody  _ prince."  _ Harry hissed. 

Novis sighed and face palmed "We'll explain it to you when we get back. Please don't get hurt." he muttered before grabbing Bellator and taking him into the shadows, Amare gently kissed Harry's forehead "Be strong, young one." he said softly before following his brothers into the shadows. The didn't really leave. Just hid themselves into the shadows. Their king had told them specifically to watch him. So they would. Even if he didnt want them to. 

Harry let out a soft sigh of relief and turned to face the wall, Hedwigs hooted softly and Harry immediately felt bad. He should've brought her with him so she could see her mate. He looked at her and tears welled up in his eyes, she was probably hungry too. Sweet Merlin, he was so selfish. He stood up and gingerly grabbed his glasses and wandlessly wordlessly mended them before slipping them back on, walking to his beautiful owls cage. He smiled softly at her before opening it and holding his hand out, she stepped onto it with a hoot. The brunet pulled her out of her cage and opened the window, kissing her head before holding his arm out "Go to Lucifer. I'm sure he wants to see you." he said softly. Hedwig opened his wings and flew off. 

A single tear dripped from his eye as he went to sit back down. As soon as he did he heard the locks of his door being opened, he quickly undressed and laid back down, pretending to be asleep but as soon as the door opened he tensed greatly. Vernon walked over to him and grabbed him by his hair "I know you're awake, whore. Open your eyes." he spat. Harry's eyes immediately opened and he suppressed a whimper. The less noise he made the easier this would be. That's what Ellis always said. "Cook breakfast for your aunt and cousin. If you're not finished in fifteen minutes you'll be mine. Petunia won't save you." he growled and let go of Harry's hair "Yes sir." he said softly and scrambled off the bed.

Harry made breakfast in less than ten minutes. And he did it perfectly. He knew better than to half ass anything. Vernon immediately told him all he could have was the crust of toast from his plate. Harry thought to refuse, he truly didn't want to eat anything Vernon put his fingers on, but he did anyway before excusing himself to do his long line of chores. He as always finished in a matter of hours. It was the same things everyday so he knew how to do it all very well.

In between his chores he made lunch. Vernon of course thought it was burnt. Resulting in a beating. Harry trudged on though. He wouldn't give up. Not yet. He didn't have any broken bones that time so he was okay. That's what he kept telling himself at least.  _ Just a few more hours. Then it will be over. All of it.  _ He thought silently to himself, he felt his soul tugging with sorrow as he finished his last chore. He went back to his room and sat down on his bed, bringing his knees to his chest. He couldn't stop the tears as they began to flow  _ Just a few more hours, Harry. _ Was all he tried to think, trying desperately to ignore all the other thoughts that clawed at the back his mind.

At that moment he decided he couldn't wait anymore. He didnt care if he went to Azkaban if he failed. He couldn't care. He took out his wand, his hand shaking harshly "Avad-" he started but as soon as it left his lips he was tackled and pinned down, his wand snatched away. He looked up at his attacker, who was none other than Bellator, glaring darkly at him. More tears streamed down his face as he struggled against the bigger male. "Just let me do it! I'll do anything, just let me die!" he sobbed

Bellator softened considerably and handed Harry's wand to Novis, who examined it. Bellator slowly got off of Harry and pulled him into his lap, putting his hand on the back of the brunettes head, forcing him into his chest "Relax, Princey. You'll be okay." He whispered, gently rocking him back and forth. Harry continued to sob, his body shaking. Bellator was used to this. Both of his brothers had gone through depression and suicidal thoughts. Novis put his hand on the door, setting a silence barrier.

There was a soft pop from the middle of the room, causing Harry to tense considerably and look at the source. There stood Ellis, a very tall dirty blonde man with orange eyes. Harry's jaw dropped and his tears immediately stopped,  _ how the fuck did he get here?  _ Harry thought to himself. Ellis arched a brow "Why are you sitting on a demons lap? I thought I taught you better than that." he hummed and Harry scramble off Bellator and stood up, embracing Ellis tightly "Elli, how the hell did you get out?" he asked quietly, looking up at the male, tears welling up in his eyes.

Bellator clenched his fists and stood up "Get the fuck away from that vampire, Harry." he growled, Ellis sneered at him and pulled Harry closer, holding him tightly "I'm half wizard you soul sucker. And you're far worse than me." he spat. Harry tensed "What's going on?" he asked softly, the emotions that he had forgotten when Ellis had arrived came flooding back, he buried his into Ellis chest, inhaling the scent. He smelled the same as he always had, cigars and cinnamon. Harry loved that smell.

Ellis looked down at Harry and kissed his forehead "Don't cry Pulchra, what's wrong?" he asked softly, Bellator snarled "Let go of him you fucker! And stop calling him pet names! He's a bloody prince!"He snapped. Ellis laughed "Would you rather me call you that, Bell? You truly are still in love with me." he cooed. Bellator scowled "I was never in love with you in the first place." he growled. Ellis sneered "Whatever Bell. You weren't saying that when I broke up with you. In fact, I remember you begging me to stay because you couldn't live without me." he snarled, Harry pulled away from him "What the bloody hell is going on?" he demanded. Bellator's lips thinned "Ellis is my... Ex..." he muttered. 

Harry's eyebrows furrowed and he looked at Ellis "You're gay?" he asked, tilting his head. Ellis shrugged "I'll date anyone with a pretty face." he muttered, Bellator's lips thinned, he knew his feelings shouldn't have been hurt, but they were. Amare sensed this and glared at Ellis "What are you doing here, leech?" he growled. Ellis looked at him and smiled "Haven't lost your spark then, lovely?" he cooed, Amare rolled his eyes "Answer the damn question." he mumbled. Ellis shrugged and took out a letter and handed it to Harry. 

"It's from The Dark Lord." He hummed. Harry glared at him "Why?" he growled. Ellis shrugged "Just read it." he said softly. Harry sighed and sat on the bed. Its not like he had anything to lose anyway. He opened the letter and read it closely. 

Mr. Potter,

Due to the events of yesterday I'd like to formally apologize for damaging your relationship with young Malfoy, it has now come to my attention that you are unaware of the cease fire, which troubles me. I have discovered that the so called 'Prophecy' was a fabrication made by the old man. I sincerely hope you believe me and do not ignore Draco, you mean a great deal to him. I invite you to Malfoy manor tonight for dinner so we can discuss things and you can talk to young Malfoy. You needn't reply, I just hope you accept my invitation. Mr. Blyth made me aware of your past with him when I got him out of Azkaban, please know that I will never order him to hurt or kill you. I have actually ordered him to protect you. He will stay with you as long as you wish and will come back if you ask. Consider it a gift for past mistakes. You'll receive many more if you come to dinner tonight. Thank you for your time. I shall see you at dinner

T.M.R/Lord V.

Harry's eyebrows furrowed "Dumbledore made it up?" he asked softly, Ellis sat beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "He lied about a lot of things, love. That's why I didn't want you to go to Hogwarts." He said gently kissing his head "And he considers you a gift to me." Harry muttered with a slight sneer on his lips "Harry, I've told you since day one that I'm a follower. And that I'll always choose him." Ellis reminded. Bellator glared "You'd choose a wizard with no nose over a boy you considered a son?" he snarled.

Harry laughed slightly "He has a nose now. I don't know how but he got his human form back, but he did," he said before looking at Ellis "You consider me a son?" he asked quietly. Ellis huffed and glared at Bellator, who glared right back. After a few moments Ellis sighed "Of course I do Harry. I raised you..." he mumbled. Harry felt the tears welling up in his eyes and he couldn't contain them. He buried his face in his hands and tried to compose himself but he couldn't. "Why are you crying, Pulchra?" Ellis asked, pulling him closer Bellator sat on the other side of Harry but didn't touch him.

"Don't lie to me, Elli." Harry whispered. Ellis scowled "When have I ever lied to you, Harrison?" he snapped, Bellator glared at him "Don't fucking talk to him like that. He just fucking attempted suicide, dumbass." he snarled. Ellis grabbed Harry's chin and forced it up so he could look at the older male. "You did _what?"_ He growled, Harry's lips thinned "Elli, I..." he started but he was cut off by a slap directly on his face, knocking his glasses off.

Bellator snarled and stood up, about to pounce. Ellis cast a wordless and wandless shielding spell and grabbed Harry by his locks, forcing him to look up even more "Did I raise a weakling, darling? Is that what you are?" he cooed in a falsely sweet voice, using his other hand to gently cup Harry's cheek "No sir, I'm sorry..." The brunette whispered, leaning into his touch. Ellis let go of his hair and gently kissed the scar on his forehead, ignoring the loud banging on his shield "Let go of him you fucker!" Bellator screamed, Novis watched in fascination. "Stop it, brother. Just watch." He said softly.

Ellis pulled the younger close to his chest "Good boy, Harry." he said softly, carding his fingers through Harry's hair. "Thank you." Harry whispered, closing his eyes. Letting out a breath of relief.

_ What the fuck... _ Bellator thought to himself


End file.
